DGP's Well Wishes for the New Year

As we usher in the new year, our DGP teachers and staff commemorate the first complete year since our conversion to a full-fledged childcare. While we acknowledge the year 2022 was fraught with its own ups and downs, we are more than glad for a new year and a new beginning. The children also transit to a new level and different class teachers, making old friends and meeting some new classmates. Hence, we wish to kick off the year with some of the staff's well wishes for the DGP students.

Principal Mrs Dolly Our doors are always open to people who want to come in and experience the love and care in this preschool.	Chairman Mr Justin Tay My hope for our DGP children is that they grow in character and wisdom and develop a love for parents, siblings and their community.
Teacher Samantha My vision for them is to enjoy their time with us as they grow in knowledge and socialise with friends. That they will know their teachers love them, and that they are secure in Jesus' love.	Teacher Debbie My only hope is that the K2 kids will be prepared and ready for Primary school education.
Mrs Koh I wish a healthy active lifestyle for the children, that they'll mature physically and mentally. That the kids and parents' hearts will be close to God so they will love God more.	Mrs Tham My wish for the DGP children is that they'll enjoy themselves in school, be happy, to grow well, learn and know God for themselves.
Teacher Joanne I wish for each David & Goliath Preschool student to be healthy and happy always.	马老师 (Ma Lao Shi) 我许愿大卫与巨人学前教育中心孩子们会安康喜乐、主恩满益，那么他们会学习听话顺服耶稣。(I wish that the children of our preschool will be healthy and happy, and that they will learn to obey Jesus so that the Lord will bless them.)
武老师 (Wu Lao Shi) 亲爱的大卫与巨人学前教育中心的小朋友们，祝你们新年快乐！愿上帝祝福你们，从岁首到年终平安喜乐，有智慧和聪明能学以致用！阿们！(Dear children, I wish you a happy new year! May God bless you with peace and joy all your years, and wisdom and intelligence to apply what you have learned! Amen!	​蔡老师 (Cai Lao Shi) 祝福小朋友们新年快乐！身体健康！快高长大！学业进步！=D (I wish the children a happy new year, good health and academic progress! =D)
何淑美传道 (Chaplain Ps Shoo Mei) 祝福你们每一天住在神的爱里 💗❤️💗 满有喜乐和平安!✝️ (May you live in God’s love every day and be full of joy and peace!✝)	林老师 (Lin Lao Shi) 希望 DGP 孩子们能很快适应新的朋友和老师、学习更多知识。祝你们兔年快乐! (My hope is that each of you can adjust to new friends and teachers and learn well. I wish you a happy Year of the Rabbit!)

A typical end-of-year affair, DGP teachers sent off 2022 with a spring-cleaning day, to deep clean and intentionally sanitise every surface of their classroom. From each chair and table to each Lego block and library book, everything was wiped down as thoroughly as possible. Even window ledges and the top of cupboards and fans were not spared. Kudos to all our nimble everyday heroes in this arduous task!

Purposeful Parenting - Conclusion (Part 3 of 3)

This is the 3rd and last article condensed from a workshop conducted for young parents over three Saturday afternoons. The topics are:

• Part 1: What you need to know about children

• Part 2: What children really need

• Part 3: Purposeful Parenting

The workshop is based on the book, “A Guide to Purposeful Parenting: harnessing your children’s love for you” written by Dr. Lian-Ding Eliza. She is a child psychologist and had practiced in the West and in Singapore.

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Nurturing a Secure Base

Let us now look at nurturing a secure base for a child. Nothing or no one else can replace the parents. The parent-child relationship is a primary dyadic and foundational in one's life. No matter how caring another adult can be, he cannot replace a parent or both. Father and mother each play a unique role in a child’s life. No matter how bad external situations may be, home is where a child is most comfortable and secure. This is his/her base which needs to be nurtured. For those with more than 1 child, who do you concentrate on? How will the dynamics change when they start school?

Parenting under Pressure

By divine design, a parent is granted an incredible opportunity for a lasting impact on another human being. However, our high-pressure society places multiple demands on the parents to ensure that their children excel. Do you have examples of such demand? We have great expectations which takes its toll on us and leave very little at the end of each day.

A Mother’s Privilege

By nature, both physically and emotionally, mothers are in a closer relationship with their child until they're about 5 years old. Dr. Eliza promotes that the mother should stay at home. Is this concept deemed to be archaic today? Full-time motherhood has its various challenges from the new-born to school-going phases.

A United Front

Every child finds security in a united home. When both parents cooperate and reinforce each other's action and values, the child is likely to embrace their values. When parents disagree on any matter, the child will exploit it and/or end up confused. One parent may disapprove of the other parent’s action e.g. in discipline. It's best not to contradict in front of the child but things can be discussed later without his/her presence.

Shaping the Will

The father’s word is the law. Can anyone relate to this? ("It's my way or the highway.") In today’s environment with easy access to social media and “western” influence, such an attitude is deemed “old school” and out of touch with reality. But is it? The challenge for parents is being a better listener and respecting your children, beginning from a young age. Of course, when your children are adults, I find it’s easier to respect them as they have developed a will of their own.

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Effects of Device Usage on Attachment & Development

The prevalence of digital devices and their usage have a profound effect on a child’s attachment and development. Most of you are aware of the ill effects of social and mass media.

• Such media does not allow meaningful two-way interaction with others, and this affects social development in children.

• They are addictive even for adults.

• The fast nature of absorbing online content does not allow pause for intellectual analysis. It also shortens one's attention span.

• It creates a distorted reality and desensitisation. Most content are usually violent, explicit or distorted social and cultural norms. It is concerning when clearly wrong behaviours are depicted as acceptable norms e.g. LGBT lifestyle, promiscuity and divorce etc.

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Connecting Well

It is important to determine what kind of children we want to raise and what it takes to accomplish that. I am sure most of you would have thought about this and already have an ideal model. To achieve this, the first thing is to connect well with your child so that you can mould and guide them.

All of us as young parents started off in unchartered waters; each child is uniquely made to set sail in their own way. Some of the considerations are:

Perseverance in Raising Gifts of Life

A child is a gift from God - training them with values for a life well lived is every parent’s challenge. We can only persevere with the help of God. Remember we are human and therefore imperfect... only the perfect God can perfectly mould our child. But that does not relieve us of our duty as parents.

Listen First

God gave us two ears but only one mouth, so listen more. That includes listening to our children. Young children often need more time to form their sentences and may even repeat themselves more than once. In our impatience, we may cut them off or try to finish their sentences. How many of you are guilty of this?

Open your Heart

Parenting is about developing relationships with your kids, and the core of it is heart-to-heart talks and moments.

Physical Presence

There is no substitute for time with your child. Do not be fooled that quality time can be substituted with lesser time spent with him/her.

Taking Time to Play

While children are young, it’s easier to have playtime since they play all the time. But when they grow older, it gets difficult with so many other demands on their time. This is even more important for each family to intentionally be together to play, or even to just “waste” time. And this should be done not only during school holidays. Make playtime regular, even during the examination fever seasons.

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To watch the full Part 3 lecture, you may also view it here:

About the author:

Young Kwang and his wife Iris, both 62, have been married 36 years. They have 3 grown children and 1 grandson. Though they grew up in typical Taoist families, they accepted Christ while overseas, and met each other when studying in Canberra, Australia. They have been members of Jurong Christian Church for almost 30 years and serve in various ministries.

Purposeful Parenting - "What Children Really Need" (Part 2 of 3)

This is the 2nd article condensed from a workshop conducted for young parents over three Saturday afternoons. You may read the 1st article here - Purposeful Parenting - "What We Need to Know about Children" (Part 1 of 3) (davidgoliath.sg)

• Part 1: What you need to know about children

• Part 2: What children really need

• Part 3: Purposeful Parenting

The workshop is based on the book, “A Guide to Purposeful Parenting: harnessing your children’s love for you” written by Dr. Lian-Ding Eliza. She is a child psychologist and had practiced in the West and in Singapore.

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Love & Limits

Every child needs to know his place in the world. When he knows his place, he will then know the purpose for which he is created. We want to teach our children that growing up well means that they must learn to abide by universal laws that govern humankind and what the Bible teaches.

Grounding in Truth

Love must be grounded in truth. Is this so? "But because the truth hurts, maybe we should not be too hard on kids since they are still young and it may scar them." What do you think? Well, I think that lots of love and affection with no honesty will create insecurity. Children desperately need boundaries based on truth for their own protection and for a sense of security.

Parental Authority

Love and limits are necessary in parenting children of character. "Aiyah, my kid is still a baby, setting limits will only makes him unhappy and cranky." Maybe limits need not be so strict nor should it be enforced too harshly. Children just need to know that they are accepted and they belong. Limits/boundaries allow them to grow up safely, securely and with direction. Parental authority aims to give children freedom. This is almost an oxymoron, or seen to be contradictory. Parental guidance - or more correctly, parental discipline - shows a child that there are consequences to his behaviour and choices.

Child’s Place

In Asian societies, it is said a child is to be seen only when summoned and not heard unless spoken to. What do you think? Too old school? However, the modern family has more affluence and is smaller, hence children and grandchildren are precious and given a lot more attention. With grandparents, the ratio of adults to child can be 5:1. Nonetheless, it is not healthy for a household to revolve around the child’s preference as this would damage the child. He needs to know his limits and respect authority.

Discipline at Home

This is especially difficult when both parents are not consistently at home. Grandparents have the tendency to be “soft”, however grandparents must accept that discipline is the responsibility of parents and they should reinforce what the parents decided. What about domestic helpers? Some kids may have them as the only adult interaction for most of the day. Unless you have great trust in your domestic helper, most would not allow them to discipline their child. I am sure sooner or later, most of you will hire a domestic helper. However, domestic helpers are adults and children must still respect them and not “lord” over them.

External Locus of Control

Generally, young children do not know what is potentially harmful to themselves and need to learn this through external control. He needs to know boundaries - the line between right and wrong. They need firm limits and swift consequences in order to develop internal control. Now, how firm? What time to sleep? Misbehave in the mall, what and how swift are the consequences?

Discerning Authority

It is a sad fact that in every culture, there are adults who abuse their position of authority and exploit or abuse children. How do we teach our children what is appropriate in an adult-and-child relationship? At home, they are taught that the words of mum and dad are the law. How do they question those outside of home? How do we raise children not to be blind followers but at the same time to show respect for others?

Internalising Control

How to inculcate a child's internal locus of control? This will protect him from other harmful choices or even his own. Can he discern what is right or wrong in every situation and control his actions based on wisdom that comes from his internal standards? One way is to have a firm authoritative voice in his early years, gradually moving towards instruction with reason, then to a more persuasive tone and finally to just provide advice if he seeks it.

Pursuit of Good

The ability to discern what is right is paramount, and parents can demonstrate best through their actions and choices. If I want my children to embody goodness and excellence, then I must direct them towards that. We want to teach them by our lives, and that we are stewards of God’s bountiful blessings.

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Valuing People

In this next part, we look at the social and character development of young children. One key skill is valuing people.

Colour Blind

I wonder if we are born with racial prejudices in our genes. How many of us have friends of different ethnicities, and who do we usually makan with? How then do we teach our kids to be colour blind? Firstly, parents must set the example, making intentional effort to befriend other races amongst our neighbours and colleagues. We can participate in and appreciate the festive occasions. How about greeting foreign workers in our midst? We can give small gifts to celebrate special seasons.

Appreciating Differences

"Look mummy, that lady is so small, I am almost as tall as her. She is carrying so many heavy cardboard boxes and can hardly push the cart." What is your reaction? How might this be a teachable moment for your child to acknowledge someone from a vastly different occupation and background? Singapore is a melting pot of races and religions and cultures from all around Asia, how can we embrace each person and the heritage they bring?

Valuing Human Beings

How do you view someone you just met? What small talk do you initiate? Sometimes we may be quick to mentally file him/her into our catalogue of useful people whom we can call when the need arises. Instead, who are your treasured friends whom you have cultivated meaningful long-term relationships with? In what way can your child also learn to treasure friends and keep them?

What are the magic words?

"Please", "thank you", "excuse me" and "I’m sorry". They are either one or two words. How do we inculcate them into our kids?

Beyond Tolerance

How is your relationship with the difficult sibling in the family? How about that colleague of yours whom everyone shuns? "Huh, barely tolerable, best to keep away." Our children need to develop social tolerance and to accept others, especially the “difficult” people in their life. Human beings are social creatures - we cannot live alone or in a small, isolated group. We strive to build relationships and we can do so even with those socially, cultural or racially difference. Can our children learn this from us?

Valuing the Elderly

This seems to be a non-issue given that our Asian society demands that we respect our elders. But is this so? We exemplify and nurture in our kids a respect for the elders, especially in Singapore where most young families live as nucleus unit, ie. on their own.

Nurturing Mutual Care and Respect

Nowadays families are smaller, and children grow up with lesser or no siblings to care for. How do we make a concerted effort to allow our children to interact with and care for their peers or those weaker than them? We can seek out other young children their age from amongst neighbours, relatives like cousins, the elderly and even those physically challenged.

Teaching from Life

We live in an interdependent world; everyone needs everybody. How can we be deliberate about the kind of values we want to impart to our children? They can learn from the rich experiences of seniors too, and the wisdom they can dish out.

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Valuing Resources

As Christians, we know that everything we have are not ours; they are gifts from God. Even our life is a gift. We are only stewards entrusted with God’s gift. Our children need to value and be good stewards of the resources given to them.

Stewardship of a Life

I think the most exciting role of parents is helping to shape a child’s dream. Our life that is lived purposefully would be the best model. Which begs the question, what is most important to you as a parent? Career, material security, relationship, or even church work? If we are solely acquiring one or more of the above, we risk losing our children in the long run.

I recall the case of a parent I know. The father ran a successful wet market stall, supplying frozen foods to zichar stalls and restaurants while the mother ran a popular braised duck stall. Both worked long hours and have a big semi-D, but were often not home. I remembered when their 3 children were in school, the mother planned for a holiday in Japan with them (a considerably expensive family holiday at that time). Sadly, her children all refused to go because they did not want the company of their parents and preferred to hang out with their friends. The father passed away quite a few years ago and the mother lives alone. It’s very unfortunate indeed.

Purpose of Education

Do we view education as a means to a personal end? If so, our kids will cease to know when ends are met. To what extent can we guide their academic choices? Be aware that there is a danger of imposing your “lost” opportunities upon your child. On the other hand, if they study because their curious minds want to discover new things, then there is no end to learning. How do we encourage this lifelong learning attitude instead?

Opportunity for Enrichment

Young parents are bombarded with a myriad of extra-curricular activities. Even preschools are crammed with optional enrichment classes. How might you choose or how many should you enroll your child in? Carefully consider the overstimulation you might be exposing your child to.

Managing Material Wealth

Where our treasures are, there our heart will be. How much do you trust God to provide? While it is better to have contingency savings, in case of emergencies, parents should strike the balance between being thrifty and extravagant. How can our kids learn to save and spend appropriately too?

Shaping Appetites

Not just your tummies but clamping down on one's appetite for quality or branded stuff. How do we moderate our natural tendency to show off and not become a "crazy rich Asian" flaunting our excesses?

Teaching Responsibility

Can our children value resources especially in modern affluent Singapore? We are too easy going with our possessions - things are thrown once used, even when they're still in good condition. What might be a better way to re-use or repurpose our household items? Selling at a low cost on Carousell or giving it away at charity drives could bless someone else who has better use for our stuff.

Valuing Saving

Train the child to deliberate and plan more before spending on expensive items. How can they discern between their needs and wants and learn to be self-controlled at a young age? They require patience in order to see their long-term investments and savings grow too.

Being Generous

We are only stewards of the wealth that God bestows upon us. In being generous, the Bible says the right hand must not know what the left hand is giving, figuratively meaning that we should not make a show of it or proclaim what we're donating/giving. Generosity also comes in different forms - money, resources, time and attention as well. Through what platforms can your child give freely and cheerfully today?

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To watch the full Part 2 lecture, you may also view it here:

About the author:

Young Kwang and his wife Iris, both 62, have been married 36 years. They have 3 grown children and 1 grandson. Though they grew up in typical Taoist families, they accepted Christ while overseas, and met each other when studying in Canberra, Australia. They have been members of Jurong Christian Church for almost 30 years and serve in various ministries.